For most of my life I have regarded balance with the highest disdain. It was not something that I ever aspired to, was at all attracted to or in fact wanted anything to do with.
I thought that balance was boring, missing out and no fun at all.
Extremes on the other hand, extremes were my forte. Extremes were exciting, of the moment, and extremely fun. I think I was born extreme. Let me give you an example. My nature was so extreme that I was once in the car with one of my besties on a winter’s eve, and I was blasting the heater, then getting stifling hot and cranking the cold air, then getting too cold, then blasting the heat again. She said to me “Sach, why don’t you put the heat half way?”. This had never occurred to me. I didn’t even consider it as an option my mind was so extreme.
This kind of all or nothing approach permeated every part of my life. I would go on a juice cleanse and be extremely virtuous and then the next day I would be treating myself to pizza and chocolate. I never saw anything wrong with it, but clearly when I was in one extreme, I was stuck there and I didn’t have any freedom of choice. I didn’t see it that way though until a very wise friend reframed balance for me in a way that changed my life:
“Balance is not missing out or boring. When you are stuck in one high extreme you’re up there and missing out on everything there is to offer below. When you are in a low extreme, you’re stuck down there missing out on all that there is above.”
“Balance is being in the middle and having the choice to go up or down and have anything you want, in any given moment.”
This was just so revolutionary for me and my way of being. I thought “I want to have anything I want at any given moment!” That sounds endlessly appealing to me! So I have started to strive for balance, and it has brought a peace and freedom that I never knew existed. I like this balanced state. It’s calming and open and full of possibility. I encourage you to try it.
I have to be honest with you though. It hasn’t been easy, going against 30 years of innate instinct. Even a couple of months ago, I was in the car with my partner and was opening the window completely, then closing it, opening and closing… after a while he said “Babe. Why don’t you just open it a little bit?”
It just goes to show, we’ve all got a long way to go.
How do you feel about balance? Is it something that you like or dislike? If you’re extreme like me, what extremes have you gone to in the past? Or how are you going to try and be more balanced in the future? I invite you to join the conversation below.
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