Lizzy Williamson :: Health & Fitness Coach :: Fabulous Female Friday
Linda Ellis :: Lunch Lady Lou :: Fabulous Female Friday

Change and Resistance

You decide you’re going to change something in your life.

This time it’s going for a walk every morning. You know how much better you’ll feel when you do this. You want to be that person who gets up and breathes in the morning air and feels the sun kiss her skin. So, you’ve conquered all your mental blocks and you find the time where you think – I can totally make this happen.

DAY 1 rolls around. You get up – pumped – and put on your outfit that you’ve laid out the night before. You get out there and think “WOW! This feels AMAZING! Why didn’t I start this sooner?! I feel so good!” DAY 2 and you’re still pumped and as you’re out with the morning sun on your skin, you smugly think “I am totally that morning person who goes on walks!” DAY 3, it’s a little harder to get out of bed. You get yourself outside walking but it doesn’t feel as good as the previous days. DAY 4, it’s even harder. DAY 5 your bed just feels too damn snuggly and cozy and you really don’t want to go outside into the world, so you give yourself a morning off. You think “I’ve done 4 days this week, I’ll start again on Monday.” Monday rolls around and it just never happens.

Sound at all familiar?

This used to happen to me regularly and I’d be left thinking that I had no self-discipline, no willpower and it made me feel a bit hopeless.

BUT – then I read this and it changed my life.

Todd Herman, a top Sports Psychology Coach who helps athletes win Olympic medals gives an illuminating explanation in in The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte, and it’s backed by hard science.

“THE BIOLOGY OF CHANGE

When you enact a significantly positive lifestyle change, your brain temporarily floods your body with feel-good neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine. It’s your brain’s way of giving you a high-five.

The happy drugs start flowing, fuelling your good intentions with seemingly boundless energy. Your commitments seem effortless. This is going to be easier than you thought.

Then, in a cruel-but-neccessary act of nature, the party train grinds to a halt. Your neurotransmitters collapse back to their normal output levels and like a rushing river that dries up to a trickle, the rah-rah ferocity dissipates.” Danielle LaPorte

So it goes like DAYS 1-5 above. On DAY 5 “Your new healthy habits are asking your cells to literally alter their shape. And to you, this feels like a major drag.

But in actuality, your cells are loving it! They’re vibrating and shifting, doing their own form of yoga. They’re transforming to accommodate your recalibrated levels of positive mood endorphins. They just need a l-i-t-t-l-e more time to reshape themselves.

This is resistance. And it’s a cause for celebration. It means that changes are happening.

“Your body is just going though a change, and you’re interpreting it as either positive or negative. Really, what you should do is get excited about it. The change that needs to happen in order for your new habits to take form is taking hold. It’s taking hold inside your body,” says Todd. The most difficult part of the journey is the first sixteen days, but then after that, it’s a piece of cake. We don’t need to think about it anymore. It goes from or conscious mind to our unconscious, or habit mind, where it’s happening automatically for us. It’s like a wave of positivity that just starts flooding toward you but most people don’t see it right away. It happens later.

Your resistance is a sign that your system is reconfiguring itself towards success.” Todd Herman

So, instead of shutting down the new habits when they start to feel unpleasant, we need to shift our attitude toward loving the resistance that arises. Because if we can push through the awkward growth spurt giving our cells adequate time to catch up with our good intentions – we gain prodigious momentum.” Danielle LaPorte

Here are Todd Herman’s 5 techniques for riding out resistance:

  1. Breathe. When you feel resistance coming up, breathe through it.
  2. Grip Your Power Thought. Why are you doing this? What is the Core Desired Feeling that you’re hoping to achieve? Focus on that.
  3. Remind Yourself “I’m changing”. Simply uttering those words will anchor you in reality. It’s a trigger, it works.
  4. Rehearse Your Performance Ahead of Time. Visualise the process and how you are going to feel.
  5. Keep Drafting. If your life is a text, and you’re the editor, you can make small corrections every day. Editors don’t berate themselves when they spot a typo – they don’t bin the whole document. They just correct it and move on. Next draft. Self-editing is empowering.

Don’t you just love this? Doesn’t it make you feel a whole lot better about yourself? I read this to every Desire Map Workshop attendee during our private 1 hour Implementation Session which happens a couple of weeks after the workshop. It illuminates and encourages them as they embark on integrating small changes in their lives, in order to feel the way they want to feel (their Core Desired Feelings that they uncovered during the workshop).

If you want in on the action, my next Desire Map Workshop is just a week and a half away on Sunday 3 May from 9am-4:30pm at Pyrmont Yoga Studio. It’s a workshop about really turning your ambitions inside out, so that you’re planning your life based on how you want to feel, rather than external goals. It’s for people who are ready to have some meaningful conversations. It will be a day of enlightenment and discovery and will give you a whole new map for the direction you want your life to take. Here’s what Stephanie, an attendee from my last workshop had to say –

“It has been really great having time and guidance to clarify the [core desired] feelings and ways to achieve them that are important to me. It is a really great gift for yourself. I really liked how everything was integrated; music, readings, writing, reflection and sleepy time! It made the day run smoothly & remain engaging. Finding time for introspection is hard; being guided by someone capable and sensitive makes it easy.”

It’s $200 for the full day workshop, the book The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte, a delicious lunch, scrumptious snacks and your private 1 hour Implementation Session via Skype. I have a few places left, so if you would like to attend, secure your place by emailing me here smc{at}sachamariecurtis.com.

What is one tip you can share about how you overcome resistance when making changes in your life? Tell us below in the comments as it could be exactly the advice that someone else needs to hear.

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Have a beautiful week and do check back on Friday for my Fabulous Female Feature!

Sacha Marie x

 

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Lizzy Williamson :: Health & Fitness Coach :: Fabulous Female Friday
Linda Ellis :: Lunch Lady Lou :: Fabulous Female Friday